Today I'm here to talk to you about whatever random shizzle dizzle gets caught waiting for the next bus out of my brain, and has had to spend a few hours weathering the cold, damp and multicoloured storms that have a penchant for candifloss that call my mind home(The strange thing is - I don't even particularly like candyfloss....).First on the agenda, is peanuts - yes, peanuts - I have a theory regarding the so called nuts of the pea which, I'll have you know, aren't actually nuts at all - they are actually Legumes, a small breed of creature that look like Goombas (From the the popular game that rhymes with bario), except they're short, fat and have an eating disorder.).
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| Legumes, eating disorders and all... |
They are actually, genetically modified to taste irresistibly good with every form of alcohol, except for the people with a "peanut allergy" as they are actually people who are resistant to the genetically modified Peanut's taste,and are gradually being wiped out by the peanut super-corps of death!
I also have a theory that if you fed a cow a peanut, and managed to stop it from deficating for over a week a whole peanut plant would pop out! However I haven't currently built up the courage to attempt such a feat, as to be honest with you, that is disgusting.
On the subject of absolutely disgusting news headlines, whilst I was prowling the darkest recesses of the internet (Where people like Justin Bieber go to feel at home) I found this news headline from Franklin county regarding a former deputy. Joseph M. Cantwell, 38, pleaded guilty to health-code violations for giving Joseph Copeland a bologna sandwich that had been rubbed against another prisoner's penis. Fortunately, the deputy who gave an inmate a sandwich with a bit of extra meat in it has been fired!
Right to wrap things up, during the time you took to read this blog post a cake fell out of the sky killing 3 hawaiians and a pig, 2 blind men found out why not to walk across a golf course and a young boy called Billy got hit by a bus - 30 people died in the accident, but Billy was unharmed.
until next time,
peace.
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