The peanut mega corps are coming...

Hello Ladies and Gents, boys and girls -

Today I'm here to talk to you about whatever random shizzle dizzle gets caught waiting for the next bus out of my brain, and has had to spend a few hours weathering the cold, damp and multicoloured storms that have a penchant for candifloss that call my mind home(The strange thing is - I don't even particularly like candyfloss....).First on the agenda, is peanuts - yes, peanuts - I have a theory regarding the so called nuts of the pea which, I'll have you know, aren't actually nuts at all - they are actually Legumes, a small breed of creature that look like Goombas (From the the popular game that rhymes with bario), except they're short, fat and have an eating disorder.).

Legumes, eating disorders and all...

They are actually, genetically modified to taste irresistibly good with every form of alcohol, except for the people with a "peanut allergy" as they are actually people who are resistant to the genetically modified Peanut's taste,and are gradually being wiped out by the peanut super-corps of death!

I also have a theory that if you fed a cow a peanut, and managed to stop it from deficating for over a week a whole peanut plant would pop out! However I haven't currently built up the courage to attempt such a feat, as to be honest with you, that is disgusting.

On the subject of absolutely disgusting news headlines, whilst I was prowling the darkest recesses of the internet (Where people like Justin Bieber go to feel at home) I found this news headline from Franklin county regarding a former deputy. Joseph M. Cantwell, 38, pleaded guilty to health-code violations for giving Joseph Copeland a bologna sandwich that had been rubbed against another prisoner's penis. Fortunately, the deputy who gave an inmate a sandwich with a bit of extra meat in it has been fired!

Right to wrap things up, during the time you took to read this blog post a cake fell out of the sky killing 3 hawaiians and a pig, 2 blind men found out why not to walk across a golf course and a young boy called Billy got hit by a bus - 30 people died in the accident, but Billy was unharmed.

until next time,

peace.

Crusty Concrete.

Bill wandered down the street, the pouring rain soaking him through. His trainers squelching as the droplets raced to finish their pilgrimage, if only because nothing in the shoes (including the giant 2-year old verucca that was semi-sentient.) could scare them more than what they saw while passing the grimy slums that were Bill's boxers. A dog howled in the distance, making the scene eerily climatic - well as climatic as a street in south Doncaster could possibly dream of being - as smoke danced across the roof tops (either burning leaves or bodies - the latter was probably the most likely.) and the stars flashed their cameras whilst the moon stood off in the distance, hunching it's shoulders against a cold that Bill couldn't even imagine. A thought crossed the moon's unbelievably ancient mind; 'how ungrateful the Beings were, with their street lamps and torches, as unappreciative now as they werre in their infancy'. The moon promptly resolved to wrap up in the clouds and take the night off, wandering over to Mercury to get pissed on Sunshine.
The moonlight promptly went out on Bill, causing him to trip and fall towards the unforgiving concrete.





And the concrete thought to itself; 'Bugger, now the street cleaners are going to come back.'

Copyright;
Slizzer348
a.k.a. Wess Lei Jardaim.

World Cup prospects beware...

Hello again assorted things that call the Internet their home!
Whilst I was watching the Chelsea vs Liverpool game today, something occured to me - now, it may have already occured to the whole population of the world, but as things go this one's a doozy, so let me catch a break and have a little read.
Ok. In my opinion, Britain (Referring to all it's countries' teams just to make things easier) is probably not going to win the World Cup again given the current attitude of clubs in the UK. Fact (In my opinion - so basically, not a fact at all.).The way Professional football in the UK is working at the moment has quite a striking resemblance to the attitude of the world banking market of a few years back - in essence, it is dealing in that which it doesn't really have.any claim to (with regards to the World Cup side of things.). Britain has a fair few leagues and all these players who -in the FA cup and the like- will play for British teams and Leagues, and that's fine. The only problem is, seeing as such a large portion of the higher end players are not actually of British birth, when it comes to tournaments such as the World Cup they are obliged to play for their home countries. This causes Britain a problem - now I'm not saying that we need to stop them from playing in British leagues - I just feel that if the professional clubs put more of an incentive on bringing up players from the amateur clubs, we would -over time- build up a group of players that (hopefully) would be at a standard that when the World Cup came round, we could give the world at large a good kicking to the curb, and stroll out of there with a nice piece of silverwork! I honestly feel that this is possible, despite the current professional football climate, and hopefully Britain will see this change come about in relatively few years - but only time will tell.
Well, I'm afraid Mogs (Minions of the Blog.) that is all we have time for! Tune your PC (And basic - level reading capabilites) in next time for dazzling acrobatics, amazing stunts, half a cheese sarnie and a packet of crisps(All through the medium of text, of course!)!
See ya!